Elephants are like cats

OMG longest day ever! We only thought we were busy yesterday. No, no. Yesterday was a breeze. Today, I was chauffeured via elephant up a mountain, called a queen (and a stingy one at that), hounded by paparazzi, pulled into traditional Indian dance, and hit by a car.

We got up this morning at about 7 am for breakfast (they had baked beans and the closet Anglophile in me was really excited about that). We’ve noticed an odd mix in the breakfast selections. The hotels seem to include a wider range of breakfast “styles” (traditional Indian, British influences…corn flakes). I know a lot of us are grateful to see something familiar in the mornings, especially when the rest of the day is mostly foreign.

.After breakfast we headed out to Amer fort. I have been looking forward to this site since I found out we were going on the trip. We were going to ride elephants to the top. ELEPHANTS! We queued up in a sweet little garden waiting our turn to ride up, and it was at this point that we realized the only two Indians on the trip (Vikas and Varun), were NOT taking the elephant ride. I think we all had a moment of “uh oh, should we not? Is there something we don’t know?” Dr. Anand reassured us, telling us that to Indians, “elephants are like cats” and there was nothing novel about riding one up a mountain….ok…

We made it up to the front fairly quickly given the length of the line when we arrived, and were seated on the back of the bumpiest piece of transportation I have ever experienced. Don’t’ get me wrong, we had a blast, but it was a work out. I had to keep my abs clenched the entire way up the mountain to feel like I wasn’t falling off (and that didn’t always help). I kept sliding into poor Kevin cause I was sitting up front (closest to the ears) and he had the tail lend. Our driver, who insisted on calling Kevin and I a “maharaja” and “maharani” (king and queen) was a typical Indian driver - aggressive and willing to sneak into any opening he saw available. We passed about five other elephants on the tiny mountain road…we felt like a part of elephant NASCAR.

Once we made it to the top, our driver, who had been kind and talkative most of the way, began asking the Maharaja for his tip - apparently Maharani don’t pay for things…this I like. He kept saying ”you are Maharaja and Maharani, I am a simple driver. Tip more” Oh no, mister elephant driver man, we know your wiley ways. Our tour guide warned us about you - 50 rupees it is. We escaped his pleas with claims of “that’s all we have (it wasn’t) and “sorry” (we weren’t). I know now that I wouldn’t wanna do that everyday - your back and butt would be sore all the time. Now I understand why the two Indians opted to take Jeeps up the mountain.

Now, when you hear the word “fort,” what do you think of? Probably the same thing as me. A big, sprawling fortress-like structure made to withstand countless enemy attacks? Yeah…this was NOT that kind of fort. This was beautiful. The archways were covered in delicate paintings and all of the stone work was intricate and elaborate. The royal family used this fort more as a home and palace than a defense mechanism. There were meeting halls and Jacuzzi tubs and bedrooms galore - not to mention the entire hall covered in teensy mirrors. We had a great time exploring the fort. It would have been easy to spend hours at that site (mostly because there was so much to see, partially cause it would have been really easy to get lost in all the tunnels and passageways). When we were done, we took jeeps down the hill - elephants down hill would have been a terrible plan.

After the fort, our next stop was a local jeweler. Our guide took us to a place where the “locals” know to shop. The store owner greeted us and explained where they get their stones and the process that goes into cutting and polishing the gems, then he let us see one of the workshops. Jaipur is the gem capital of India (and they supply something ridiculous like 80% of the world’s gems). Daddy wanted a sapphire, so I found the loose stones and spent the entire time there - so many tiny sparkly things! I found him a stone - a dark cobalt-blue sapphire, but I found myself one too (oops). In trying to determine what color I was looking for, the guy showed me several different stones. One was a gorgeous cornflower blue sapphire that was a unique hue, even for that shade. It caught my eye and I fell in love with it. As we know, I have excellent taste, so, of course, I managed to pick out one of the rarest colors of sapphire they have…making it a bit more expensive than the other. I love it, though, and they guy offered to put it in a ring for me with two little diamonds on the side. How could I say no? He said he’d put it all together and have it delivered to my hotel that evening.

As I was entirely consumed by the stones the whole time, I had know idea what was happening with anyone else. When we’d gone into the store, only Seth and I were really looking to buy something. Turns out, there were only one or two people that ended up NOT buying something - for themselves, their mothers, girlfriends, wives, etc. The salespeople. were all so nice and easy to deal with, and the shop was just beautiful - it makes sense. It was neat to shop in a place like that- it was very much a family run business, run out of their home, but supported by all of the people who lived nearby. I wonder if they live nearby because they help with the business or if they help with the business because they live nearby…?

After spoiling our selves with sparkles, we were famished, so we stopped for lunch at a traditional Rajasthan restaurant. We’re getting better at ordering (starting to recognize things we like and trust), but we’re also usually willing to branch out and try new things. Every now and then that plan backfires…that happened today. We ordered a vegetable dish that sounded good on the menu, but en execution, was just weird - pineapple and green peas and cashews and something else we weren’t sure of. Yeah, that didn’t get eaten. The rest was delicious, though.

After lunch, the most entertaining scene of the trip unfolded. Aaron felt the need to apply bug spray, so he stepped out of the bus. Well, there was an entire crowd of Indian men standing around (like they seem to be prone to do) just outside of the bus. As Aaron stood there, completely oblivious to the scene, the men stared at him with a mixture of confusion, amazement, and a bit of mocking. Then, out of nowhere, and entire herd of beggar women appeared, all toting a child or two, all with their hands out. Aaron didn’t notice them until they were right in front of him and there was not escape! When he looked up, a look of panic came across his face, and he made a beeline for the bus, herd of women tailing him all the way to the steps. Poor thing.

Up next was Jantar Mantar. This is were the day really got interesting. Jantar Mantar is an 250 year old observatory park. So, naturally, there were school groups ton field trips there. If you haven’t noticed, II’m blonde. There aren’t a lot of fair kilned, blue eyed, blonde headed people in this country. (shocker, I know). So, I became part of the field trip. We had boys in uniforms following our group around the entire time. Once we got a bit of free time, Amanda and I took a break near one of the star sign calculator statue things. Within two minutes of sitting down, we had a small group of boys come up to us and ask for pictures. They looked harmless enough, so we said okay. Thirty seconds later, a group of not-so-small boys also asked for a photo. This time we were a bit more hesitant. They were, as most people are here, aggressive, though, and one of the guys jumped in between us before we knew what was happening. Then, oh then, as his buddy was about to snap a pic, he threw his arms around both of us (VERY inappropriate in Indian culture. You do NOT touch a member of the opposite sex). At that point, Dr. Anand saw us and came over to pull us away. We headed over to where the rest of the group was sitting, and were safe for a few minutes before another group of ogglers started to form. Dr. Anand whisked us away again and we decided it was time to head out. Once back on the bus, thee boys were told to keep an eye out for us…geez. Thanks adventure curls, thanks.

Next stop: bapu bazaar. Two words. SENSORY OVERLOAD. Ohmygosh I have NEVER been that overwhelmed by a shopping experience. After that, I could kick black-Friday-ToysRUs in it’s butt. There were all sorts of noises (voices, animals, cars, random hobo children) smells (I’m not gonna describe) sights (colors everywhere!) and people. The sheer number of people - I just…ugh. Also, I think the beggar women make their children cry on cue. These babies are quiet until I ignore the pleas of their mother and then they start bawling and I feel like the worst person in the whole world, l. And they must know that American women are weak, cause they stick with you for ages. I gotta give em points for persistence.

I did make a few purchases - though I’ve discovered I suck at haggling. I feel too mean. I could have done better with my bargaining, but my overwhelmed brain couldn’t process the sensory overload and the guilt att the same time, so sensory overload won.

After the market, we had a few short minutes back at the hotel before we headed out to Chohki Dhani. The easiest way to describe this place is like the Indian version of Silver Dollar city. It’s a recreation of a typical Rajasthani village - complete with performers and an “authentic” meal (it was served on plates made of banana leaves and we weren’t sure what 9/10 of the stuff on our plates was…). We had to take our shoes off (ick…I wasn’t happy about that. If you knew what Indian streets looked like, you’d never wanna take your shoes off…EVER) and we sat on the floor. It had rained earlier, so this experience was rather undesirable. Other than that, we had a good time. We toured the place for a bit after dinner (which was entertaining since our waiters were fighting the whole time), and at one point, a girl in traditional Indian dress grabbed my hand and pulled me onto a platform with her (I wouldn’t go without Pree), and we got to participate in the dance. And by participate I mean be-really-confused-and-laugh-hysterically-while-attempting-to-mimic-what-she-was-doing. At one point I heard Pree say, “Oh, look at Kevin!” I turned around and someone had grabbed him, too…and turned him into a cow…and told him to bounce up and down. Apparently we were to then dance around him. It was one of the most ridiculous and fun things we’ve done yet.

After our dancing escapades and tour, we headed back to the hotel. On the way out, our group apparently wasn’t moving fast enough for one of the cars, and they totally HIT ME! Like ran INTO my leg. I’m not sure what Indian protocol is for that situation, but American protocol told me to give them a “go to you-know-where look,“ almost pound on their hood, and shout not very nice English phrases at the driver. He was not apologetic in the least. Whatever, driver man, may you come back as one of those beggar children that’s taught to cry on cue.

Now, I’m home, exhausted, and ready for bed. We have to be up at 3am..so I should get at least a little bit of sleep.

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1 Response to "Elephants are like cats"

  1. Unknown, on January 15, 2011 at 1:57 PM said:

    "Whatever, driver man, may you come back as one of those beggar children that’s taught to cry on cue."

    Favorite quote EVER

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